ALI GOYAM: SEEK NOW OR FOREVER HOLD YOUR PEACE
Seek seek seek… and then seek some more.
We are living in a strange time. COVID has many of us confused, overthinking and anxious. Our process of seeking for what’s better or higher has now been steered inward.
The final days of mixing and mastering “Ali Goyam” coincided with the first COVID lockdowns. But, I barely even noticed. (Well, I went on a mandatory Costco trip with my parents to get everything for doomsday, or doomsyear, but that’s it). My mind was in the one place it needed to be… my piece.
I was in do or die mode with the song -- my identity wrapped up in this one piece. I was warring through the musical crusade, finding discordant mistakes all over the piece and fighting the internal voices of mean critics. There was no clear light at the end of the tunnel.
My own personal anxieties were top priority. Life outside of music was a nuisance… so I stayed inside and did my work or went to Lucky Run Studio to work with the mixing engineer. I was like “Coronawhat?”
When the piece was finally done in mid March, I opened my eyes and saw that people are sick, isolating, and in genuine fear. I thought to myself:
How important is a song in the midst of this strange new world? A world that is quiet and peaceful on the outside. Blaring and anxious on the inside. We are living on top of each other in our tiny apartments, and yet tremendously alone amongst our loud thoughts.
Now I’m sitting here wondering if the divine is showing all of us something through this sickness and collective anxiety. Are we falling apart for a reason? Why is my life, your life, humanity’s lives characterized by so much anxiety? When can we all finally rest so that we can continue the search happily?
For Shia Muslims and many Sufis, Ali is the reprieve of all heartache. And to sing about Ali is pure magic.
“Ali ruh o ravan-i man
Ali aram-i jan-i man
Ali zikr-i zaban-i man
Ali Goyam, Ali Joyam”
Ali is my soul, Ali is my spirit,
Ali is the repose of my life
Ali is the recitation on my tongue,
I say Ali, I seek Ali
(From “Ali Goyam” written by Amir Hayati)
I sing these words and, sometimes, a little reward showers down from the skies above. All the harmonies crash against my skin, and tingle my spirit.
The seeking is endless, and I certainly don’t have a cure for you, but I’ll tell you from experience that it’s a calm mind that can actually help you. That’s what music and poetry from many faith traditions does for me. It cancels out the stale thoughts and allows fresh ideas to come through.
My little offer of calm to the world is my rendition of “Ali Goyam.” Listen here and see if it calms you down.
